October 22nd 2008 is my suicide attempt day
I can’t tell you every detail, but this is what I’ll say
I was in a tremendous amount of pain
Satan as my accomplice, I took God’s name in vein
I was sad over a girl that treated me like shit
After so much, I couldn’t take anymore, I was done with it
I left work early that day and went home
Went straight to the bathroom, I didn’t roam
Listening to Bob Dylan’s song “Tangled Up In Blue”
This is how I attempted suicide, this is what I did do
Half a family size bottle of Tylenol makes my stomach rumble
Next, two prescriptions of Trazedone which makes me stumble
Also I didn’t know Tylenol was a blood thinner
Two other suicide attempts, I was not a beginner
I grabbed my two razor blades, got in that evil shower
Slitting my left wrist again and again, that was the power
So many cuts, I thought I was done
Nope, decided to cut again inside the middle one
I laid down in comfort as I lost the red blood
From all my cuts came a non-stopping bloody flood
I’d stand up for a few seconds just to fall right back down
It was at that moment I could feel evils crown
As I sat in warmth, Satan walks in
Evil thoughts and wicked laughs start to begin
Honestly, I could feel his presence right by my side
I couldn’t get up and run, there was no place to hide
I lost so much blood, I had no control
Over my strong body, I was losing my soul
Every single second I could feel myself starting to die
I didn’t want to live, I thought there was no reason why
I started to shake uncontrollably, the water had gone cold
In that shower for an hour and a half, I thought I was sold
The water was ice cold, I had to get out
Slipping and falling as I tried to stand about
I wanted to be warm so I grabbed my black towel
Next part of the story was my biggest foul
I lost my balance so I put my left hand down
Fell again and again, it was a bloody mess, I did frown
This scene was literally Hell on Earth
I felt like my life was not worth
All of the sudden there were bangs on the door
It was then my heart sunk to the deep core
“What the fuck is going on in there man?
Unlock the door or I’m busting it open, you know I can!”
It took me 30 seconds to unlock that impossible knob
He was staring in, back and forth I did bob
“Where the fuck did all this blood come from?!”
I showed him my wrist, I was completely numb
He asked why I had done it
At that time I lost so much blood I couldn’t say shit
He wrapped me in a blanket, carried me down 3 flights of stairs
I knew death was not far, he was saving me because he cares
There was one thing that might have saved me
I wanted heat, he said no and turned on the AC
He drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital
He knew I was close to death and it was fatal
When we arrived he ran for a wheelchair
Rushed me into the hospital, then started to Blair
“This kid’s cut himself way fucking bad!”
All the other patients were shocked and sad
Multiple doctors came to save me from Hell
Then they said “you can close your eyes, all is well”
Why I was saved, truly I do not know
I think it was just an intermission in my show
#poetry #suicideawareness